


Bossy Bottom

by this_is_kelly



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Bottom Arthur, Bottom Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), M/M, Modern Era AU, Shameless Smut, Top Merlin (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:15:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23321551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/this_is_kelly/pseuds/this_is_kelly
Summary: When Arthur's latest one-night stand shoves her fingers in his bum it awakens something new inside him - something he thinks only Merlin can help him with.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 50
Kudos: 687





	Bossy Bottom

**Bossy Bottom**

***

Arthur’s head is cradled in the plush pillow, his eyes gazing downwards between his legs as the redhead works her mouth on him. She’s good – she’s really good. He has so much alcohol in him he’s forgotten her name, which honestly isn’t unusual. He’s a bit of a slag. He reaches down to touch her head, thread his fingers through her hair when—

“ _Whoa!_ ”

She pulls her mouth away from him. “What? Never had a finger in your bum before?”

“I – no!” he cries.

“You’ll love it. I can always tell when a guy is gonna be into it.”

“I’m not – I don’t—”

“Try it and if you hate it, it won’t matter. We both know this is a one-nighter, yeah?”

Arthur isn’t sure what to say, but then she wiggles her finger and he feels slightly strange. A good strange. A new strange. Huh. Interesting.

***

“And then,” Arthur says the next night, “she just shoves her fingers in my arse.”

Merlin raises his eyebrows but otherwise looks very stoic. “Okay, and?”

“And it was invasive.”

Merlin takes a long pull from his pint and sits back in the booth at the pub they always meet up at. “Uh huh. You liked it, didn’t you?”

“How come you never told me it feels like that?”

Merlin shrugs. “We don’t really talk about my sex life. We only ever talk about yours.”

Arthur thinks. It’s true. “I thought we didn’t talk about it because you didn’t have one, not because you didn’t want to tell me.”

“I’m offended. You don’t think I have a sex life? Fuck you very much.”

There’s not much malice in his voice, which is typical. Arthur drives Merlin absolutely batshit mad and yet they’re still best mates ten years running. 

“Sorry,” says Arthur. “Well, then let’s start. How come you never told me fingers in my arse feels like that?”

“I don’t know. It’s not my thing.” Merlin shrugs again.

“I’ve never come so hard in my life,” Arthur says. “How is that not your thing?”

Merlin smirks. “I guess I don’t have a sensitive prostate? You do. Congratulations. Use it well.”

Arthur studies him. “Okay, but how is it not your thing?”

“You’re such an idiot,” says Merlin. “How is it you’re in medical school and such an idiot?”

“Like you’re so clever.”

“I like to top,” says Merlin simply. “I know we’ve had _this_ particular conversation before. I’d be the one pounding your prostate, not _getting_ pounded.”

Arthur feels his face heat. “That’s not going to happen.”

“I didn’t mean _you_ – I meant when I have sex, I’m the one penetrating.”

“Right,” coughs Arthur. “So when you pull a bloke, do you always go for the ass?”

“If he wants it, yes.”

“I guess it’s not taboo in your world to ask for that sort of thing.”

“Why would it be ‘taboo’ in your world? Why are we living in separate worlds?”

“Gay and straight,” says Arthur.

“I see.” Merlin’s tone suggests he doesn’t. 

“And no, I can’t go ask some girl to stick her finger in my arsehole and wiggle it around.”

Merlin nearly chokes on his beer. “I’m not drunk enough for this conversation.”

“I’ll order us another round. I have loads of questions.”

Merlin groans. “I’ve never wished I was straight before right this moment,” he grumbles. 

Arthur goes to the bar and comes back with two full pints. He sets one down in front of Merlin. “All right,” he says, “so back to me.”

“No,” says Merlin rather firmly. “Listen. If you like it, buy yourself some lube and do it yourself. I know you jack off all the time, you’re completely filthy and you’re not quiet. Sharing a room with you at uni nearly scarred me for life.”

“I don’t have lube. They’d know why I was buying it if I went to the sex store.”

“The _sex store_ ,” he repeats. Merlin closes his eyes and looks as though he’s counting to ten. “Buy it online, genius. I mean, seriously – how are you in medical school?”

Arthur shrugs and then grins. “Come on, at least I keep our friendship interesting.”

“I’ll give you that,” says Merlin dryly.

***

Arthur has a problem. Now that he’s discovered this secret part of himself, he can’t not touch it. He thinks about it at night before he goes to sleep. He’s bought a bottle of lube off Amazon, but it’s already half-gone – _in a week._ He needs to try to get out more, find someone else to do this for him before he gives himself carpal tunnel. Saturday nights are usually spent with Lance and Gwaine at a bar or a club where he almost always pulls someone hot and eager. Sometimes Merlin comes with them; he’s the best wingman. The last three Saturdays in a row, Arthur’s asked his partners to play with his ass. One said she wasn’t kinky enough for that. One asked if he was gay. And the last one said sure, but didn’t know how to hit the spot just right. 

“This is dumb,” Arthur says over another round of beer at their favorite pub. “Now that I know this is what gets me off the best, I can’t even find anyone who knows how to do it properly.”

“So, do it yourself,” says Merlin. “I don’t see what the problem is.”

“I think I’m getting bored,” says Arthur. 

“Shocking,” Merlin mumbles. 

“No, I mean – not bored with sex. Well, yes, bored with sex. I meant my fingers. It’s nicer when someone else does gets me off, you know?”

“I’m aware. That’s why I have sex.”

Arthur grins. “When was the last time you got laid?”

“Last night,” Merlin admits, a slight blush creeping up his neck.

“Brilliant. Who was it?”

“A bloke I sometimes ring up.” Merlin shrugs as though it’s not a big deal, but to Arthur it’s huge. Merlin never talks about himself like this and now he wants to know more.

“So tell me,” Arthur says. “I always give you the play by play.”

“Yes, and I wish you wouldn’t.”

“We tell each other everything.”

“No,” corrects Merlin, “ _you_ tell _me_ everything even when I beg you not to.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” says Arthur. “So was he fit?”

“He’s – yes. He’s fit.”

“And you dicked him down?”

Merlin blinks.

“Nailed him to the bed with your cock?” Arthur grins mischievously. 

“Yes,” says Merlin slowly.

“So you call him when you want to get laid?”

“Er, usually he calls me. Last night I called him. It’s a bit – it’s not – it’s casual.”

“But you’re not dating him?”

“No, he’s bi and wants to eventually get married. I fill a need that a woman can’t.” Merlin shrugs; he’s been doing that a lot lately. “Which is fine. He’s not really my type otherwise. Anyway, if you’re bored, get a dildo.”

“Absolutely not,” says Arthur, horrified.

“It’s bigger, stronger. You’d probably like it.”

“No way. That’s so—”

“If you say _that’s so gay_ I’m going to punch you.”

Arthur snaps his mouth shut. “Nope. Not going to say anything.”

***

The dildo he buys offline was supposed to be black, but they send him a neon pink one instead. He wants to be humiliated by it, but he can’t decide if he’s excited to try it or off-put by the fact that it looks like a giant rubber cock. There were some dildos that didn’t look like cocks at all, but this one had the highest rating so he went with it. 

Thank god he lives alone. He takes off his clothes and locks the door to his bedroom for reasons he can’t quite unravel right now. He gets into bed, bends his knees, and looks at the dildo in his hands. 

Well. Here goes nothing.

***

“I bought a dildo like you suggested,” Arthur says.

Merlin rubs his eyes. “Why do you always tell me this shit?” he asks. “Why? Remember when we used to talk about football and classes and politics? I used to show you all my graphic designs for work? Remember when we talked about things other than you’re arsehole? Fuck!”

“Oh,” says Arthur, “I’m sorry.”

Merlin waves a dismissive hand. “Well? Did you like it?”

“Yes. I’m not sure what that means, though.”

“Why does it have to mean anything?”

“I’ve never thought of myself as bi, but I liked a dildo in my hole, so.”

“Plenty of men are into pegging.”

“What’s that?”

“When a woman wears a strap-on and fucks you.”

Arthur considers this. “Interesting, but if I couldn’t find a girl willing to stick her finger in my bum, how can I find someone willing to do that? I might not even like it.”

“I’m guessing you would considering you just told me you liked the dildo.”

“True…”

“Go join some kink website. Find someone through there. Probably plenty of women who are into it.”

“How come you’re so clever all of a sudden?”

“You got the book smarts,” says Merlin, “but that’s all the smarts you got.”

***

A week later Arthur knocks on the door to Merlin’s flat. He’s brought a case of beer and a DVD of their favorite movie. Merlin opens the door wearing a rather tight-fitting v-neck shirt and a pair of slim-cut jeans. He looks like he’s on the way out.

“Oh, shit,” says Arthur. “I should’ve called. Do you have a date?”

“No,” says Merlin. “I was, uh, going to meet up with – it doesn’t matter. What’s up? You never come over unannounced.” He eyes the beer and the DVD and steps aside to let Arthur in.

Arthur doesn’t move. “I don’t want to keep you from whatever it is you’re planning. I’ll go.” He knows he sounds vulnerable and small. That’s how he feels and Merlin is the one who makes him feel better so he came over without a second thought.

Merlin grabs him by the front of his shirt and pulls him inside. He closes the door behind him and takes the beer. Arthur follows him to his sofa and sits down with him, a cushion between them. 

“So what’s up?” says Merlin slowly. He opens up one of the beers.

“I did what you said,” says Arthur. “The website.”

“Yeah? Good for you. So why do you look so fucking morose?”

“I met up with three – _three_ – different girls,” Arthur says. “I didn’t like any of them.”

“Why?”

Arthur shrugs. “I don’t know. They didn’t do it right.”

“Do what right?”

“So you’re a top, right? So you’ll know what I’m talking about. There’s a certain way you fuck. When you’re really going at it, you push with your hips and there’s force and power to it. Maybe it’s because they were all smaller than me, but there wasn’t any strength. I could fuck myself harder with that blasted dildo than they did.”

Merlin chugs the rest of the beer and opens another one. “Are you going to drink?”

“They’re for you.”

“It’s an entire case of beer.”

“I know, but when you’re drunk you’re more agreeable.”

Merlin raises his eyebrows. “Agreeable to what?”

Arthur stares at him.

“Oh, fuck no. Absolutely not. You are _out of your mind_.”

“Why not?”

“You’re my best mate. My best mate in the world. I am _not_ fucking you.”

“I’ve been dreaming about it.”

Merlin almost chokes on his beer. “Dreaming about me fucking you?”

“Sort of?” Arthur admits. “No, it’s more like I kept thinking that I need someone who knows what they’re doing and someone I trust not to tear me apart.”

Merlin grimaces. “Jesus, Arthur, what the fuck?”

“And I trust you. I trust you more than anyone else in my life. You said yourself you’re an exclusive top, right? And if I’m going to stop obsessing over getting my stupid prostate pounded, then you’re the one to help me. Maybe I’ll hate it and I can go back to normal and back to pulling girls at the bars. Or maybe I’ll love it and I can find someone else to do it for me. Or maybe it’ll get it out of my system and I can move on. But I know I don’t want it to be with someone random. I don’t think I could relax.”

Merlin shakes his head. “No.”

“I can see you’re already hard. Your jeans are really tight.”

“Irrelevant. You’re talking about me pounding your prostate, of course I’m hard. It’s a natural reaction—”

“Merlin.”

“Don’t say my name like that,” Merlin pleads. “I can’t fuck you. I can’t just stick it in you. I like kissing and touching and foreplay when I have sex. I can’t do that with you. Absolutely not.”

“I don’t want to kiss you,” Arthur says. “I don’t want to touch you. I don’t really even want you touching me. Just, you know, your cock in me.”

Merlin whimpers. It’s the sound of defeat. Arthur knows he’s won. He takes off his shirt and undoes his belt. He toes off his shoes. 

“Where’re your condoms? By your bed?”

Merlin whimpers again and chugs the rest of his beer and opens a third one. Arthur goes into Merlin’s room to his bedside table. He pulls out a condom and lube. He looks at the condoms. XL. Oh shit. He’s pretty sure the dildo he bought wasn’t an XL. When he goes back to Merlin’s sofa, he notices Merlin’s already opened beer number four. Which is fine by him, whatever he needs to do this.

“It’ll be better if you’re naked,” Arthur says.

“How? How will it be better?” Merlin looks like a lost puppy. 

“I mean, I guess if you want to leave on socks and your shirt – which by the way, how come you never dress like that when we go out? You look really fit.”

Merlin ignores him, but he lets Arthur lift his t-shirt until it’s off and undo his belt. He pushes his hips up so Arthur can pull his jeans down and off and – wow, he’s impossibly hard. It’s the first time he’s seen Merlin naked and he’s surprised at how firm his body is. There isn’t clearly defined muscle, but he’s also not skinny. His cock is bigger than Arthur’s, which Arthur is equally amused and annoyed by.

“Here,” Arthur says, handing the condom over. “Clearly you bought the right size. XL indeed.”

Merlin closes his eyes as though he’s wishing to be anywhere else right now, but his cock is leaking, which Arthur is taking as a good sign.

Arthur sheds the rest of his clothes and sits on Merlin’s lap, low on his thighs so that he can watch Merlin put the condom on. He hands over the bottle of lube.

“For you,” says Arthur.

“Uh,” says Merlin, “for _you_. I can’t just shove it in there, I’ll literally split you in half.”

Arthur shivers.

“Are you – do you want me to work you open?” Merlin says it as though it hurts to get the words out.

“Oh, I already did that at home before coming over. I should still be loose.”

Merlin whimpers – he can’t seem to stop – and then takes a deep breath. “I swear to God if I do this and you stop talking to me or shut me out, I will fucking end you.”

“Not a chance,” says Arthur. “Besides, this is like an experiment. It’s science.”

Merlin snorts. “Yeah, right.” He squeezes some lube onto his fingers and then covers himself with it. “Let’s get this over with.”

Arthur grins. “Brilliant.” He positions himself over Merlin and slowly starts to sink down. His eyes water as he stretches. It’s mad how different Merlin is than his toy at home. He almost wants to stop, but when Merlin finally stretches him enough to get all the way in, he can feel that he’s bottomed out. Arthur feels full – fuller than anything else he’s ever experienced.

“Move,” Merlin commands.

Arthur does, and it feels good, but not what he expected. Merlin’s fingers dig into his hip as he tries to help Arthur fuck him.

“This isn’t working,” says Arthur. “I think – I think _you_ need to fuck _me_. Ram it up into me.”

Merlin blinks then pushes his legs up, forcing himself into Arthur. 

“Oh shit,” says Arthur. It’s good, but it’s not enough. “Fuck me,” says Arthur. “How would you fuck a bloke you pick up at one of your clubs?”

Merlin studies his face.

“Is it weird having a conversation while your dick is literally inside my arse?”

“Everything about you is weird right now,” Merlin says dryly. “And you want me to fuck you like I would some random stranger I pick up? That depends on how needy he is. How mouthy.”

“Mouthy?”

“Yeah,” says Merlin, his voice suddenly an octave lower. “Some guys only shut up when they’re getting nailed so hard they can’t breathe.”

Arthur’s breath catches and he nods. “Yep,” he says. “That’s what you need to do to me. You know I won’t shut up until you do.”

Merlin cups Arthur’s cheek and for a moment Arthur thinks he might try to kiss him – which absolutely not. They’re not here for that.

Suddenly Merlin flips them so that Arthur is underneath him. The angle is weird, Arthur’s hips are tilted up higher than he was expecting, but then Merlin’s hips are moving, pushing in and out of him.

“Oh shit,” says Arthur.

“Hold your knees up,” Merlin says. 

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“I swear to Christ,” Merlin says, sounding annoyed and almost tragic. “It’ll open you up more. I thought this was for science?”

Arthur sighs but puts his hands under his knees and pulls them back towards him. It does open him up as Merlin rails into him. He’s hitting him in all the right spaces and it feels so good – oh so good. 

“Do it harder,” says Arthur. “You won’t hurt me.” His cock leaks all over his stomach. He wants to touch himself but he can’t with his knees up by his chest. “I need to touch myself,” he says rather breathlessly.

Merlin sinks lower, resting his body on his elbows and moves to grab Arthur, but Arthur stops hm.

“No way!” he says.

“What?” Merlin snaps. “I can fuck you but I can’t touch you?”

“It’s weird.”

Merlin laughs. “This is madness,” he says. He slows his hips, grabs Arthur’s legs, and puts them over his shoulders. It’s an impossible new angle but when he drives into him again, Arthur sees stars. He grabs his own cock and starts to touch himself.

“Right there,” says Arthur, “that angle – whatever you’re doing with your hips, don’t stop. I said – _don’t stop_ – nuffg.” Arthur comes all over his hand and his stomach. Merlin continues to pound against his prostate, over and over again, and warmth and pleasure spread across Arthur’s body. 

Merlin grabs his hips and Arthur says, “Yeah, pull my hips. Fuck yourself against me.”

This makes Merlin shout out something incoherent and he comes, pulsing inside Arthur. He rests his weight on top of Arthur, and catches his breath. He removes Arthur’s legs from his shoulders, pulls out, and ties off the condom. He sits on his sofa, naked, his head thrown back against the cushion. He glances at Arthur and then closes his eyes.

“Close your legs,” Merlin says. “I can’t look at you all fucked open.”

Arthur smirks. “For a science experiment, that was pretty amazing.”

“Uh huh,” Merlin says. “Glad you liked it.”

“I never imagined you’d be like that,” Arthur says. “All powerful. Shit.”

“How can you talk so much after coming that hard?”

“I could come again.”

Merlin turns to look at him. “No, this is never happening again.”

“Science experiments need to happen more than once to be proven or disproven. What if this was an anomaly?”

“Absolutely not,” Merlin says. “No way. Get some clothes on.”

“You want to watch the movie?”

“I want you to go home and we’ll pretend this never happened.”

“Come on. Movie and then surely you’ll be recovered enough for another go.”

“Are you insane? Isn’t your ass sore?”

“You didn’t split me open,” says Arthur, “but I bet you have it in you. If I piss you off enough to come unglued I bet you’ll literally fuck me in half. You’re big enough.” 

“Stop talking like that!” Merlin snaps. 

Arthur sits up and reaches for his boxers. He’s right next to Merlin, his chest against Merlin’s arm. Merlin keeps his eyes forward, refusing to look at him.

“You have to admit, I took that like a champ.”

“That’s because you’re a slag.”

“Nothing’s felt as good as you did, though.” He sees the twitch in Merlin’s mouth. “They should make dildos out of your cock.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Merlin says. “Do you ever _shut up_?”

“You clearly didn’t fuck me hard enough,” Arthur teases. “I thought that’s what you said you did – do it so hard the guy you’re with can’t speak—”

Merlin’s mouth is suddenly on his, his tongue sweeping across his lips. This has effectively shut Arthur up and for a moment he’s frozen before letting Merlin kiss him. And, whoops, he’s kissing him back. Then he pushes Merlin away.

“What are you doing?”

“Shutting you up,” Merlin says. “That’s how it works. It’s not just cocks in arses, you know.” 

“I don’t want to sleep with you.”

“You just did!”

“That was – that was something different. Kissing and – I don’t want to blur lines here.”

Merlin gets up and starts to put his clothes back on. Arthur watches, fascinated by his jerky movements, the way he pulls his t-shirt back on as though he’s angry with the fabric. 

“So, er, the DVD?”

Merlin freezes. Without turning around, he says, “No, you’ve got to go home. We’ll wake up tomorrow and pretend this didn’t happen.”

“Sure, of course,” Arthur says. He stands and gathers his clothes, putting them on but not bothering to button his jeans. He goes to grab the beer, but Merlin slams his hand on top of it.

“No, this stays. Consider it payment for services rendered.”

Arthur smirks but his smile quickly fades when he sees the dangerous look in Merlin’s eyes. “Yep,” he says. “Too right, you are. I’ll, er, see you later.”

***

Arthur rings Merlin the next morning, but it goes straight to voicemail. He sends three texts, twenty minutes apart that go unanswered. Weird. He spends his day doing coursework and then the following day at hospital. When it’s day three without hearing from Merlin, he decides to skive off the coursework and go to the coffeeshop where Merlin spends his workdays doing his freelance graphic design on his fancy laptop while drinking so much caffeine that Arthur knows it cannot be healthy.

He slides into the seat across from his best mate and puts his elbows on the table, chin in his hands.

“What do you want?” Merlin asks without looking up.

“Oh, come on, you can’t ignore me for three days.”

“I can and I did.”

Arthur pouts. “Let’s go out tonight, get a pint, talk about Brexit.”

“What? No. Fuck off, I’m working.”

“We can talk about whatever you want. Football? Medical school? Er, the royal wedding. Take your pick.”

Merlin doesn’t respond.

“Okay, apparently those topics aren’t good.” Arthur taps his fingers on top of the table and then rubs his chin. “What to talk about … what to talk about … what to talk – I know! We can talk about your latest lay since you say we only ever discuss my sex life. Pray tell, Merlin, how’re things going on the other end of your cock?”

At this Merlin closes his laptop and then folds his hands on top of it. “Arthur,” he says, “I thought we were going to pretend nothing happened.”

“In order to do that you have to pretend you’re still my best mate.”

“I _am_ your best mate.”

“Then act like it and stop screening my calls.”

Merlin sighs. “All right, fine.”

“Okay, so drinks? Tonight?”

“Fine. Now leave me alone so I can work. I’ll see you at eight.”

Arthur grins as he gets up and leaves the coffeeshop.

***

It’s a good thing there’s Uber because Arthur is one shot of tequila away from crawling under the table and passing out. He orders a glass of water to chug to hopefully offset the copious amounts of alcohol sitting at the bottom of his stomach, but he’s afraid he may have made it worse. Merlin, on the other hand, is sloppy, happy, giggly drunk and Arthur is absolutely living for it.

“I haven’t seen you this pissed in ages,” Arthur says.

“Trying to erase things that didn’t happen.”

“I thought we weren’t going to talk about it?”

Merlin snorts. “Yeah, right. Like you haven’t tried to bring it up seven times already tonight.”

It’s true. Merlin is a good counter.

“Was it so bad?” Arthur asks and for the first time he’s actually wondering if it was.

“No,” Merlin scoffs, “watching you beg was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. You’re ridiculous. You’re not even gay.”

Arthur shrugs. 

“Did it get it out of your system at least?”

He considers lying, but what’s the point? “No,” he confesses.

“Did you hate it?” This time it’s Merlin who looks a little unsure.

“No,” Arthur admits. “I – shit. Shit, shit, shit. I need another shot.”

Merlin grabs his hands from across the table. “No, no, you’ll puke if you do and I don’t want to have to get sick off of my new shoes.”

Arthur grumbles, but he knows Merlin is right. “Okay, fine,” he says, “I can’t stop thinking about your cock.”

“Oh?”

“It’s so much better than that toy I bought. It’s huge, but you know that. I’ve jerked off to the thought of you inside me six times since you fucked me. I want you to do it again.”

“What do you think of when you jerk off?” Merlin says, his voice a little breathless.

“Everything. Bending over the back of your sofa while you pound into me. On my hands and knees while you destroy me.”

“Destroy you?”

Arthur nods. “I want you to fuck me so hard you ruin me. I want you to break me.”

“Jesus, Arthur.”

“It’s all I think about.”

Merlin downs the rest of his drink, slaps some money on the table and stands. “Let’s go,” he says.

“Where’re we going?” Arthur asks as he stumbles out of the booth. 

Merlin grabs his hand and leads him past the toilets and down the hallway that leads to the back alley behind the pub. Once outside, Merlin pushes Arthur against the wall and kisses his mouth rough.

“You don’t get to pull away,” he says, his teeth on Arthur’s lips. “You want me to fuck you, then you have to kiss me.”

Arthur barely nods before opening his mouth.

“Are you already open or do you need me to help?”

“I can do it,” Arthur breathes, “but I don’t have any lube.”

Merlin reaches into his wallet and pulls out a small packet. “Travel size. Just for this reason.” Arthur reaches for it, but Merlin closes his hand over it. “Absolutely not.” He kisses Arthur’s mouth again and then grabs him by the hips and spins him around, his chest hitting the brick wall behind him.

Merlin reaches around and undoes Arthur’s belt, opens his fly, and then pushes his trousers and boxers down to his knees. With one hand he pulls Arthur’s hips towards him and pushes his shoulders against the wall with his other. The brick is rough against Arthur’s cheek.

Then there are fingers between his arse cheeks, slipping inside, opening him up. 

“This what you want?” Merlin asks.

“No,” says Arthur. “Fingers aren’t big enough.”

“You’re such a slag.”

“Uh huh,” Arthur agrees.

The fingers last for a little while before Merlin replaces them with his cock. It’s just as thick and hard as Arthur remembers. Merlin rolls his hips, but the pace is almost languid.

“Are you too drunk to get it going?” Arthur asks. He reaches behind him and grabs Merlin’s hip and pulls him closer. “What part of _ruin me_ did you not understand?”

“Shut up,” Merlin says. He bites just behind Arthur’s ear and then begins to ram him hard and fast. There is nothing sweet about this. No lovemaking. It’s barely even sex. Arthur is burning with pleasure.

“Bite me again,” Arthur says and he’s surprised at the words.

Merlin makes that whimpering noise again before pulling the neck of Arthur’s shirt to the side and biting down on his shoulder. Arthur feels his teeth, his lips, his tongue. Merlin slams into him and Arthur’s cheek rubs against the brick. He hopes it leaves a mark on his skin. Merlin tries to take him in his hand again, to jerk him off, but Arthur slaps his hand away and does it himself.

Arthur comes, making a mess against the wall. Merlin is right behind him. He stills, but doesn’t pull out. He snakes an arm up Arthur’s chest and then presses them closer together, his lips back behind Arthur’s ear, trailing kisses down his neck.

Suddenly everything is cold and Arthur hears Merlin zip up his fly and re-buckle his belt. Arthur bends down to get his own trousers and doesn’t turn around until he’s decent again. When he looks at Merlin, Merlin looks _angry_.

“Don’t try to do that again,” he says. “We have to stop.”

“Why?”

“Blurred lines!” he snaps.

It’s like he’s using Arthur’s words against him.

“I’m going to walk home – alone.”

Arthur sighs but nods. He watches Merlin go.

***

The next time Merlin gives in they’re both completely sober. It’s at Arthur’s flat and he bends Arthur over his own sofa and nails him to the back. He doesn’t disappear this time; Arthur is able to talk him into watching Netflix with him, but he can tell Merlin’s heart isn’t in it. He accidentally falls asleep and when he wakes up, there’s a blanket on him but his flat is empty.

They don’t really talk about it, but each time Arthur says something about wanting to get plowed, Merlin growls and then obliges even though it seems to make him angry every time. Arthur is so addicted he can’t stop himself. 

It’s been over three weeks of constant fucking – because it’s certainly not lovemaking – when they show up at Gwaine’s house party together. They haven’t gotten drunk since that night in the back alley, but Merlin keeps his cup full of whatever’s in the punch bowl. He hasn’t tried to kiss or touch Arthur since that night either and it’s somehow disappointing even though Arthur told him he didn’t want that. He only wanted Merlin’s thick cock hitting his prostate and filling him up. That’s it. Nothing more.

Normally Gwaine’s parties are epic, but this time he feels bored and on edge. Perhaps it’s because Merlin is dancing in the kitchen with some bloke from Gwaine’s job. Merlin looks like he might be into this guy, but he’s supposed to fuck Arthur later. Except they haven’t talked about it – because they don’t ever talk about it – Arthur just assumes because it’s been what they’ve done for the last few weeks.

He shoots Merlin a look, nods his head ever so slightly towards the hallway and then turns to walk away from the kitchen. He’s only in the bathroom for less than thirty seconds when the door closes and latches behind him. He has his hands resting on the countertop, ready for Merlin to undress his lower half and take him.

But Merlin doesn’t. 

Instead he turns Arthur around and pushes his hair away from his forehead and his eyes. His fingers trail down his cheek and then across his lips. 

“If we’re doing this,” Merlin whispers, “then we’re doing it my way.”

“But—”

“I’ve been letting you call all the shots, you bossy bottom. Now it’s my turn.”

“Oh shit,” Arthur says.

Merlin kisses him. It’s soft, almost sweet. It’s not much different than the kisses he’s had with women, only Merlin feels stronger, his lips not as soft. Arthur kicks off his shoes and lets Merlin take off his jeans and boxers. Merlin helps him sit on the edge of the bathroom counter, the sink right next to his ass. This is the one time Merlin doesn’t have his packet of lube so they use Lubriderm instead, which Arthur is pretty sure he shouldn’t do, but he’s so far gone for Merlin right now he doesn’t even care.

Once Merlin’s filled him up, he leans his head back against the mirror. Merlin’s still-slick hand goes to his cock and Arthur jerks forward. He grabs Merlin’s hand, but Merlin stills his movements.

“My turn,” Merlin reminds him.

Arthur lets go and watches Merlin jack him off. It’s weird. Interesting. And when Merlin’s other hand grabs the back of his neck and pulls him close so they are kissing again, it’s also powerful. Beautiful. Really hot. Arthur had no idea kissing a bloke could be this fucking hot. He doesn’t realize how loud he’s moaning until Merlin pulls away and slams a hand over his mouth.

Arthur bites his fingers.

“You’re the _worst_ ,” Merlin says as he rolls his hips into Arthur. “Someone’s going to hear you.”

“Uh huh,” Arthur agrees and locks his ankles together behind Merlin’s back. “Don’t slow down.”

“Stop bossing me around.”

“If you did it right, I wouldn’t have to.”

Something flashes in Merlin’s eyes and he’s kissing Arthur again, this time harshly, all teeth and groans. Arthur’s okay with it. In fact, he’s fantastic with it. But then Merlin pulls away and he’s empty. 

“What’s wrong?”

Merlin doesn’t say anything, but sinks to his knees and pushes his fingers inside Arthur. His mouth goes around him, Arthur makes a strange noise in the back of his throat, as though he’s being strangled. This is new. This isn’t what they do. This is something on a completely different level, but oh, _shit_ , Merlin’s mouth should be illegal. 

“You’re going to make me – stop, stop – I’m going to—”

Merlin hollows his cheeks, swipes a finger across his prostate, and Arthur is done for. He comes down Merlin’s throat. He can’t even recover before Merlin is standing and kissing him.

“Can you taste yourself?” Merlin asks against his lips.

He can, he really can. Merlin is back inside him and between the familiar burn in his ass when Merlin first pushes in, the taste of himself on Merlin’s tongue, and the hands gripping his biceps, Arthur feels as though he’s going to spontaneously combust. He moves in rhythm of Merlin’s thrusts, rolls his hips when Merlin rolls his, and he grips the back of Merlin’s head and pulls him closer.

Then Merlin tenses, comes, and empties himself into the condom inside Arthur. He continues to kiss through it, but when it’s over, he’s away, pulling up his trousers and doing his belt. 

“Better wait a few minutes before coming out. Just in case any of our mates see.”

And then Merlin is gone. Arthur sits on the bathroom counter, sore and stunned. That was nothing like they’d ever done before. It wasn’t sweet enough to be lovemaking, but it was sure as shit more intimate than just simple fucking. Arthur has no idea what to think. He puts himself back together, washes his hands, and then carefully leaves the bathroom to go back to the party. He sees Merlin dancing with that same bloke again, a new beer in both their hands.

“He already stuffed his number in the back of Mer’s jeans,” Gwaine says, coming up behind Arthur. “That’s Ewan. Have you met him before?” He hands Arthur a drink.

Arthur shakes his head. There’s a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“He works in the cubical next to me. Thought he looked like a perfect match for Merlin, yeah?”

“No way. He’s not his type.”

“Yes, he is.”

“Nope.”

Gwaine scoffs. “Are you mad? He’s fit and blonde. Don’t be daft. Merlin has a very specific type, mate.”

“Fit and blonde?” Arthur repeats.

“Yeah, always struck me as odd how everyone he’s pulled kind of looks like you. Figured it probably doesn’t mean anything since I like blondes, too, only I like mine with tits.”

“Right,” Arthur says. He hands the drink back to Gwaine. “If you’ll excuse me.”

He doesn’t know what fuels him, but he’s walking across the room towards Merlin. He grabs his arm and turns him around. 

“Let’s get out of here,” he says into Merlin’s ear.

“I’m good,” Merlin replies. “I’d rather stay and dance.”

“Take me back to your flat and we’ll do things your way again.” He hears Merlin’s breath hitch, but he pulls away. 

“No,” he says into Arthur’s ear. “I think we really do have to stop. You don’t want me dancing with anyone else because you’re afraid you won’t get laid. Well, guess what, I’m not here to be used.”

“Merlin—”

“Go home, Arthur. Without me.”

***

The next day Arthur shows up at Merlin’s doorstep. They need to talk. Clearly. He knocks and waits. He hears shuffling inside before the door is opened. As soon as Merlin sees him, he steps outside and shuts the door behind him.

“What’s up?”

Arthur narrows his eyes. “I can’t come in?”

“Er, not a good time.”

“We need to talk.”

Merlin shakes his head. “No, we don’t.”

“Look, I don’t want to use you. I didn’t mean to. I thought you were into it, too. I don’t want to stop. I want to talk about—”

The door behind Merlin opens and Ewan from the party last night is on the other side. He’s dressed in the same clothes but looks really rough around the edges.

“Oh, hey. Didn’t I see you at the party?”

Arthur doesn’t respond.

“I’ve got to go,” Ewan says to Merlin. He kisses his cheek. “Thanks for everything. It was fun. Call me.”

Arthur watches him go and then turns on Merlin. “You fucked a guy an hour after you were done with me?”

“I’m allowed to do whatever I want,” Merlin says, “we aren’t in a relationship. I can fuck whoever I want. But if you must know—”

“I don’t,” Arthur says. “I don’t want to know.” He takes a deep breath. “It’s fine. Everything is fine. Can we still be best mates? I don’t know what I’d do if I can’t ring you up to complain about my classes or meet you for drinks.”

Merlin nods. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “Of course.”

“I need to go.”

Arthur doesn’t wait for Merlin to respond; he turns and leaves and goes straight to his car. He has no idea what he’s feeling, but it’s a mixture of things. He feels a little ill as though he could throw up. He goes home. He tries to call Merlin, but he doesn’t know what to say. They don’t speak for two days, which is unusual for both of them. If Merlin doesn’t hear from Arthur he’ll send him a string of GIFs and memes until he responds. Except this time, Merlin hasn’t sent him a single message in over forty-eight hours. 

Arthur tries to get off by himself, but his heart isn’t in it. He downloads Scruff on his phone and chats with a couple of blokes, but is too chicken to actually meet one. He trusts Merlin; he doesn’t know if he’d trust anyone else. Part of him wants to try it out, prove to Merlin that he doesn’t need him, but part of him can’t imagine sharing that part of himself with anyone else. What bullshit.

On day five, Lance invites Arthur out to one of their usual spots, a pub in the middle of town. He goes knowing Merlin will most likely be there, but what he doesn’t expect is that guy from the party sitting in the chair next to him. What the fuck?

Arthur sits in the empty seat across from them and Gwaine slides a beer over to him.

“I didn’t know we were bringing dates,” Arthur says.

“I invited him,” Gwaine says.

“Why?” Merlin challenges Arthur. “Did you have someone you wanted to bring along?”

“I may have met someone new. Been chatting some people up lately.”

Merlin scoffs. “Yeah, right.”

“Arthur always pulls,” Lance says, looking confused.

“He’s had a dry spell,” Merlin answers, his eyes on Arthur. Then he turns to Ewan and asks how work is, what projects he’s part of. Arthur wants to scream. Lance orders a round of chips for everyone and Arthur asks for a shot of whisky. He needs something to calm his nerves. He pulls out his phone and goes through his new app. 

Gwaine says something and kicks Arthur under the table for not paying attention.

“What’s with you tonight? Usually you’re life of the party.”

Arthur shrugs. “Should have stayed home. I’m not feeling very social.” He goes to stand but Merlin reaches across the table and grabs his hand. His phone drops and Merlin snatches it.

“I’ll walk you out,” Merlin says. It almost sounds like a snarl.

As they walk towards the door, Arthur hears Lance say, “What is up with those two?” but he ignores it.

Arthur grabs his phone back from Merlin once they’re outside. 

“You’re messaging guys on Scruff?” he asks. “That’s so dangerous.”

“Don’t you message blokes all the time through Grindr?”

“Yes, but I’ve been gay my whole life. You’ve been gay for five minutes. It’s not safe. You have to be careful! You’ve never even used Tinder.”

“Yeah, right. So you don’t want to be the one who fucks me, but you don’t want me to get fucked by someone else, yet you slept with a guy an hour after we hooked up who coincidentally came to the pub with you tonight. Have I got that all correct?”

“No, you arsehole,” Merlin snaps. “Gwaine invited him tonight and I didn’t hook up with him. I got trashed at the party and he helped me get back to my flat and then I told him he could sleep on my sofa. You’re the one who made assumptions.”

“No, you said—”

“No,” interrupts Merlin, “I didn’t.”

Arthur pauses and thinks. “Okay, fine, whatever. But why don’t you want me to use Scruff? Why are you so angry with me?”

“Because you’re supposed to be my best mate and I _knew_ if we started fucking it would ruin everything. I can’t do it. I think we should spend some time apart.”

“How much?” Arthur’s voice is low. His palms are sweaty and his mouth feels sticky all of a sudden. 

“A while. A few weeks. Maybe a month. We need distance put between us as best mates and us as fuck buddies.”

“This is mad.”

“No, it’s not. We don’t talk anymore. About anything. We’re either fucking or nothing else. If I wanted to get laid, I could do it easy enough. I don’t need you for that. You’re supposed to be in my life because you’re my best friend – but you’re not anymore. All I am to you is a means for you to get off. If I wanted to be used, I’d find someone on Grindr. I don’t want that from you. I miss _you_.”

“Merlin, I—”

Merlin holds up his hands. “No. Don’t.” He takes a deep breath. “It’s the twenty-first. Let’s meet at the pub on the twenty-fist of next month, okay? We’ll see if enough time’s gone by for us to be friends again.”

Arthur wants to die.

“But please don’t call me before then.”

“What’re we supposed to tell our friends? Gwaine and Lance and—”

“You can keep them,” says Merlin. “You can keep going out with them. I’ll stick to gay bars and you can go with them to whatever clubs and bars you want. I’m the one pulling away, so you can keep our friends for now.”

Arthur is silent. He doesn’t know what to say or do, but he doesn’t want to argue and push Merlin further away. So instead he turns and walks back towards his car, leaving Merlin behind.

***

The first week Arthur feels like he doesn’t fit into his own skin. It’s a weird feeling, like he’s misplaced. He tries Netflix, but he can’t concentrate enough to keep up with the shows. He’s falling behind in his coursework because he has to reread everything twice. Before all this started, he and Merlin spoke every day. They texted. Hung out. They saw each other at least four or five days a week for lunch or dinner or drinks at the pub. Now he has to get take-out for one or heat up something frozen and none of it tastes as good when he has to eat alone.

The second week Arthur starts to go through Scruff again. He scrolls through pictures but every time he sees a bloke with dark hair and 3-day old stubble on his cheeks, he thinks about how Merlin’s face felt against his thighs when he was sucking him off in Gwaine’s bathroom. No, he can’t do it. He can’t message any of these guys; he doesn’t actually want any of them. Gwaine and Lance try to get him to go out, but he lies and says he has new rotations at the hospital. He doubts they believe him.

The third week Arthur knows he misses Merlin. It’s different than the times they spent holidays apart with their separate families or the summer Merlin spent abroad traveling with that terrible ex-boyfriend of his. This is different than the way Arthur missed Sophia when she broke up with him their second year of uni. This is like an all-consuming homesickness, something Arthur can’t even begin to explain. 

He tries to unravel it, take it apart and dissect it. On the one hand, his body misses Merlin. On that same hand, it’s probably a good time to admit he’s most definitely bi. On the other hand, he misses Merlin himself. On that same hand, it’s almost a good time to admit he’s most definitely in love with his best mate. He’s not sure when it happened, somewhere between the first time they slept together and Gwaine’s party, but now that he’s had three full weeks to think about Merlin and how much he misses him, he’s had time to really put together all the thoughts and feelings he’s been having.

The fourth week Arthur decides it’s time to end the game. He drives himself to Merlin’s flat right around four-thirty, which is usually the time Merlin gets home. He knocks on his front door and waits.

When Merlin opens the door he doesn’t even have the decency to look surprised. “I knew you couldn’t last a month,” he says, with a mixture of annoyance and fondness.

“It’s only four days early.”

Merlin doesn’t step aside to let Arthur in. Instead, he leans against his doorframe, arms crossed, and raises his eyebrows.

“I, uh, miss you,” Arthur begins. 

“Me or my cock?”

Arthur flushes. “Both, actually. Listen, I have a whole speech, so if you’re quiet I can get through it.”

Merlin presses his lips together.

“Right.” Arthur clears his throat. “So … I do miss the sex. And I know we stopped being friends there for a while because it was all sex and nothing else. Honestly, that’s because you’re so good, but also because I knew you’d eventually take it away and I wanted to be with you as much as I could before it was too late. I know you want us to go back to being best mates, but I don’t want that. I want you, all of you, the part that’s my best mate and the part that’s my lover. But if you don’t want that, I’ll take you however you come. I know I miss you and I can’t keep putting distance between us.”

Merlin does not look convinced. “When we were, uh – _lovers_ – we weren’t friends. What makes you think it’ll be any different?”

“Okay, but that’s not a no.” Arthur grins.

Merlin’s frown deepens. “I’m being serious. We didn’t talk. We didn’t hang out. And you were jealous which is not a good look on you, by the way. I don’t think we can handle both.”

Arthur begins to feel numb. “I think you’re wrong, but okay. Then I want to be mates again. I’ve missed you for a while, even before you made us take the break. Missed being friends with you, that is.”

“Can you handle that? Handle only being mates?”

“Yes.”

“What if I start dating someone? Have a boyfriend? What if I fall in love with someone else?”

Arthur bends over, hands on his knees and breathes in deep. “Jesus,” he says. He slams his eyes shut and clears his throat. There’s a burning in his chest that he just was not expecting. He takes another steadying breath and then stands. “I don’t know, I’ll have to take it day by day, but I’d rather – hold on.”

Merlin raises his eyebrows.

“You said _else_. You said ‘what if I fall in love with someone _else_.’”

“I meant—”

“That would imply you’re already in love with someone.”

Merlin looks pained.

“I’m going to need you to let me in.”

“Why?” scoffs Merlin.

“Because otherwise I’m going to assault you outside your door and your neighbors will definitely see.”

Merlin steps aside just as Arthur lunges forward. He cups the back of Merlin’s neck and hauls him forward, pressing their mouths together. There’s a whimper and he’s not sure who makes the noise, but it fuels him and he kicks Merlin’s door shut behind him. Merlin kisses him back for one, two, three moments before pushing him away.

“Stop.” He keeps his hand against Arthur’s chest; Arthur takes it and holds it.

“Hey,” Arthur says, his voice barely above a whisper. “What’s wrong?”

Merlin shakes his head and looks away. Arthur ducks ever so slightly, trying to catch Merlin’s eye. He tugs on Merlin’s wrist, hoping to get him to start talking.

“It’s me. You can tell me anything.”

Merlin blinks hard and looks up at the ceiling. “I can’t,” he says.

“Of course you can. Come here.” He holds on tighter to Merlin’s hand and walks them both over to the sofa. They both sit and Merlin pulls out of Arthur’s grasp and rubs the heels of his hands against his eyes. “Will you please tell me what’s going on in your head?”

Merlin swallows and then finally looks at him. His eyes look glassy, a little sad and a little lost. “You don’t mean any of this.” His voice sounds thick. “If that girl hadn’t shoved her fingers in you, we wouldn’t be here right now. You didn’t fancy me until we started sleeping together and now you miss the sex. You never date anyone longer than a couple months. I can’t put myself through that. I couldn’t manage if you grew bored of me in another few weeks. Because you’re right. Because I do – love you, that is.” Merlin squeezes his eyes shut again and takes in a deep breath. “Dating me isn’t us as mates and then us having sex. There’s all sorts of things I like to do in relationships. Go out, have fun, sure, but also hold hands and kiss. I don’t want the sex to be one sided either. Sure, I go inside you, but you’re still scared to touch me. I want a boyfriend who’s going to want to give me head. Things you haven’t done.”

Arthur is getting annoyed. “Merlin. We’ve been best mates for ten years. If I was going to grow tired of you, I would have already. The last few weeks away from you, I’ve imagined all sorts of scenarios. I don’t plan on anything being one sided. I don’t know how long I’ve been in love with you. If it was something that was always there – which I think it was in some capacity – or if it’s something that’s newer, but I know what I’m feeling and I know the things I’ve been imaging and the thoughts I’ve been having and they’re not all dirty. I mean, okay, most of them are, but also – doing this. Sitting on the sofa and talking to him. Touching you, being close.”

Merlin swallows again and shakes his head.

Arthur reaches and cups Merlin’s face. “I’ll make you believe me if I have to,” he whispers, and then leans in. Everything they’ve done until this point has been rough, frenzied, and fast. It’s been sex and fucking – mostly fucking. He wants this to be different, sweeter.

When he kisses Merlin, he’s soft. Coaxing his mouth open so their tongues can meet, lightly and gently. He keeps the contact as he stands and only pulls away to lead Merlin to his bedroom. Arthur helps him undress and then takes off his own clothes while Merlin watches. When they’re both naked, Arthur guides Merlin to the center of his bed. He hovers above him, kissing his mouth again, and then kissing down his body. He learns every freckle and blemish, maps out the dip of his hips and the flat surface of his stomach. When he reaches between Merlin’s legs he doesn’t hesitate although he hopes it doesn’t show through that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing.

The way Merlin tangles his fingers in his hair, Arthur is sure Merlin doesn’t mind.

This isn’t how he wants it to end, so before Merlin can finish, Arthur pulls away and reaches into Merlin’s bedside table for condoms and lube. He makes his way back up Merlin’s body, kissing his mouth slowly and deeply as he reaches behind himself and works himself open. Before he can sit on Merlin’s cock, Merlin sits up and moves to the top of the bed, his back against the headboard. He’s on his knees and helps Arthur to turn around before he sinks down, taking Merlin deep inside him. 

His back is to Merlin’s front, and Merlin runs his hands up and down Arthur’s chest. His mouth his against Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur tilts his head to the side, giving Merlin access to his shoulder and the slope of his neck. He holds Merlin’s hand and then puts it to his mouth, kissing his palm and then sucking on his fingers, one by one. Merlin’s hips push up into him slowly as Arthur guides his hand downwards towards his own cock. He grinds down as Merlin begins to play with him.

This time when he hears the whimper, he knows it’s himself. He turns his head as far as he can so he can kiss Merlin. He can tell by the noises Merlin makes that this is what making love to him sounds like. It’s intense and all their movements feel deliberate. Arthur almost forgets to breathe.

He comes first, all over Merlin’s hand, and then Merlin soon follows. They stay like that, back to front, until Merlin says he has to pull out. He ties off the condom and goes into the bathroom to grab a hand towel. He’s quiet as he cleans both of them.

“Hey,” says Arthur. “That felt different.”

Merlin nods as he continues to clean the come off Arthur’s thighs. Arthur stills his hands and Merlin looks up at him.

“Hey,” he says again. “I really do love you.”

“Yeah,” says Merlin. “I love you, too.”

Arthur scoffs. “Then why do you look so sad? Was it that bad?”

“No,” Merlin says. “It was perfect.”

***

The thing about being Merlin’s boyfriend that is so fucking irritating is that he doesn’t want any of their friends to know. Arthur knows he can’t possibly be embarrassed – they’re both pretty good looking blokes and Arthur’s been lifting weights so his arms and stomach are especially hard now. He knows he’s looking fitter than ever. He likes the way Merlin pulls up his shirt and runs his fingers against his abs. It’s the only reason why he started it: Merlin’s reactions to his body. They’re taking their time in bed now and Arthur thinks it’s hotter than ever.

But Merlin insists no one knows, especially not Gwaine. Which Arthur wants to be annoyed about because Gwaine keeps inviting that Ewan kid out who still tries to flirt with Merlin and Arthur is going to end up being arrested for murder sooner than later.

They’ve spent almost every night together, usually in Merlin’s flat because he finds Arthur’s too posh for his tastes. Arthur brings his coursework over and studies while Merlin taps at his laptop. Arthur will watch shows on Netflix while Merlin sits next to him and reads his Kindle. It’s not that much different than it was before, only now when Arthur is bored he kisses Merlin until he can’t remember the titles of the books he’s reading.

Merlin seems to be relaxing and beginning to believe Arthur really does want him. He hasn’t said _I love you_ since that first time a few weeks ago. Arthur can’t decide if he should push him or not.

They go out to their favorite pub to meet Lance and Gwaine for a pint. They sit at a table, each of them on one side, and Arthur is next to Merlin. They all talk about work and football and order burgers with chips. Merlin takes an especially large bite of his burger and a little bit of sauce catches on the corner of his mouth. Arthur smiles at him fondly and the story Gwaine is telling about a girl at work he wants to ask out fades into the distance as he reaches out to wipe the sauce off his lip with his thumb.

He doesn’t know when Gwaine stops talking but when he looks over, Gwaine’s mouth is open in a perfect _O_. He still has his thumb against Merlin’s mouth.

“What?”

“Is there something you’d like to share with the class?” Gwaine asks.

“Oh,” says Arthur. He glances back at Merlin who has his eyebrows raised as though waiting for Arthur to answer the question himself. There’s such a fondness there and he thinks back on how it must have felt to be Merlin, to be in love with your best friend who only seems to want you for sex, and it twists his heart to think he ever hurt Merlin like that. “Well, I, er, have been sleeping with Merlin for the last few months.”

Lance shakes his head in mock disbelief, but Gwaine looks as though he doesn’t actually believe it at all.

“No way,” scoffs Gwaine. “Merlin’s always been known to be a power top.”

“How do _you_ know that?” Arthur asks.

“I’ve gone with him a few times to gay clubs. It’s kind of fun, but all the blokes there know he’s a top.”

“Oh,” says Arthur.

“No way,” Gwaine scoffs again. “Because then that would make you—”

“A bossy bottom, yes,” Arthur confirms.

Gwaine is quiet, Lance looks thoughtful, Merlin, on the other hand, looks amused.

Arthur removes his thumb from the side of Merlin’s mouth and licks the sauce off it. 

“You were always weirdly close,” Lance admits, “but this seems like a big step.”

“Arthur’s needy,” Merlin jokes, “and a slag. We all knew he’d run out of women at some point and men would be the only option left unless he wanted to leave the country.”

Gwaine and Lance laugh, but Arthur doesn’t. Merlin’s voice is light, and he knows he’s joking, but Arthur doesn’t like it. 

“Don’t do that,” Arthur says with a tone that wipes the smile off Merlin’s face. “Don’t diminish this.” He glances at Lance and Gwaine. “Merlin wants to keep it a secret. He thinks I’ll grow tired of him—”

“Considering your track record—” Gwaine begins.

“Stop,” warns Arthur. He looks back at Merlin. “I love you,” he says, his voice really low, and then he kisses him in the middle of this pub they’re regulars at. In front of their friends, other patrons, the waitress who usually serves them. It doesn’t matter who sees or who knows because he needs Merlin to start taking him seriously. The last couple weeks have felt like a prologue to whatever relationship they’re going to have and Arthur is ready to turn the page.

Merlin looks breathless when Arthur pulls away, but only a second passes before he presses forward and kisses him again. This second kiss is a little bit dirty and that familiar tingling feeling is stirring in the pit of Arthur’s stomach. 

“Okay, okay, you made your point,” says Lance with an eye roll. “Please don’t get all mushy on us. I don’t care where you’re sticking things, but the love talk has got to go.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Gwaine muses. “I don’t mind watching the kissing.”

“That’s why I had to stop taking him to gay clubs,” Merlin says to Arthur. “He doesn’t want to participate, but he likes to watch.”

Arthur grins a little evilly. “Fascinating.”

After dinner, they walk back to Merlin’s flat and Merlin lets Arthur take his hand. They don’t speak, but Arthur can feel the shift in Merlin, as though he’s finally starting to believe that everything Arthur has said is real.

Merlin breaks the silence with, “You know … I appreciate this sweet side of you, but in bed, I like the bossy side better.”

“Yeah?”

Merlin nods. “Definitely.”

“You always yell at me, though.”

“I yell at you regardless.”

“True.”

Merlin smirks.

“Before … you seemed worried that I only wanted you to get off, so I didn’t want to push you too much.”

“I get it, but nothing gets me hotter than watching you beg for it.”

Arthur stops walking. “We should get tested.”

“What?”

“So you can come inside me. Fill me up. And then when you’re ready to go again, use it as lube.”

Merlin looks as though he might break. He nods and grabs hold of Arthur’s belt and yanks him forward. “I’m going to fuck you against the door as soon as we get home. I want to listen to you beg for it.”

“You going to ruin me? Break me in two?”

“Ruin you for everyone else. Fuck you so good you’ll never want anyone else.”

“I don’t want anyone else,” Arthur whispers against Merlin’s mouth, “but I’m not opposed to constant reminders of why I’m yours.”

Arthur isn’t sure how they managed to get all the way back to Merlin’s flat, but his clothes are gone, he’s pressed against Merlin’s front door. Merlin has him pinned, his hands under his arse, lifting him up. Arthur locks his ankles behind Merlin’s back as Merlin pounds into him. It’s rough and sweaty and he wants to kiss Merlin but he can’t focus on anything except the burn in his ass and the pleasure spreading each time Merlin hits his prostate.

“Make me come,” Arthur says, the back of his head hitting the door. “Push me against—”

“You’re so bossy.”

Arthur grins and lets Merlin kiss it away.

***

The End.


End file.
